The America I Know

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I am troubled by the headlines in the news.
The House of Representatives removed the SNAP program from the farm bill they passed this weeks saying they would deal with the food stamp program at a later date. At the same there seems to be more people hungry, more families below the poverty line, more people lining up each week at the local food pantry hoping for a bag of groceries than there seemed to be just a few years ago.

A part of what bothers me is the cynicism that seems to surround these issues.
Do we really believe people are hungry because they are lazy.
Or, poor because they don’t want to work.
Do we really believe that all they are looking for is a handout?
Or, a way to take advantage of the rest of us?
I am sure there are some people like that.
Some people who receive food stamps.
Some people who refuse a job because they don’t want to work.
Some people who will do what they can to take advantage of the system.
But I can’t believe that is most of the people who are hungry or poor.
And, there are certainly some bankers and lawyers and politicians and clergy…
Some people in every profession who are lazy and who take advantage of the system.

My experience is that most people want to provide for their families.
And, most people want to make a difference.
And, most people want to work in a job that has a level of dignity and a decent wage.
And, most people do not think it is right for children to go to school or to go to bed hungry. And, most people, when they come face to face with hunger or poverty discover that those who are hungry or poor are human beings not all that different than themselves. If that is the case, why do we have such a hard time talking about these issues civilly and treating those who find themselves in need as human beings deserving of respect and a level of understanding?

Is it just the way the news is reported?
Or, just the current partisanship in the political process?
I don’t know.
What I do know is the America represented by the headlines in the news and the current political gamesmanship is not the America I know. The America I know cares about about its neighbors and does what it can to help.  The America I know cares about children and, for the most part, works hard at whatever job it has.  There are problems, yes.  But, if we start from the vantage point of the America which I know and not the America of the headlines in the news, there has to be a way we can figure this out together.

Far From Perfect

not perfect

One of the hardest lessons for me to learn is to say to myself and then to admit to others that I can’t do something I think another person expects of me.  Or, that I can’t do it well or that I dislike doing it so much that I procrastinate almost to the point of panic.
I am not perfect.
I cannot do it all.

Of course I know that about myself.
I am my own harshest critic.
Seeing all to well and remembering all too clearly…
The mistakes I have made.
The times my words or actions have hurt another.
The times my silence or my inaction have hurt another.
The lesson I need to learn and to relearn and then to learn all over again about giving myself permission not to be perfect has something to do with learning to let go and to recognizing and understanding my own particular limits.  Learning to allow myself to be who I am with my own particular strengths and weaknesses and not who others think I am or expect me to be.

And, this has something to do with the word grace that I have found myself using quite a bit recently.  As in “being aware of those moments when grace brushes up against your life.”  Grace, I think, has something to do with those moments when we understand something more about who we really are.  And, when we live with a deepening gratitude and honest appreciation of who we really are.

I long for grace to brush up against my life.
Maybe we all do.

A Place to Practice – Part 2

After I wrote my last post about church (I use the church in its broadest and best sense) being a place to practice those things that nurture our best values and our best selves and expand the circles we draw around our lives, I recalled a lecture I attended a number of years ago. The presenter was a sports psychologist who worked with the New York Mets baseball team.  His presentation was not on professional baseball or professional sports, but on the changes that were happening (and have continued to happen) in the sports programs in which our children participate.

He noted that the change that was taking place was most children’s sports programs were now being organized, run and managed by adults.  Whereas a generation ago, most sports activities in which children participated were organized by the children themselves.  Kids would show up at the ball field.  Sides would be chosen.  The rules agreed upon.  When a disagreement arose it would be worked out often by agreeing to a do over.  While the skill level today might be greater with semi-professional coaches who oversee practice and training, children’s love of the game and the negotiating and conflict resolution skills they learned by playing together on their own are  diminished.

I thought about that lecture quite a bit as my children grew up and participated in organized sports, but after my last post I began to think about it in terms of the church.  Longer than children’s sports programs, the church (in its most traditional sense) has been organized by a group of “adults” who organize, run and set the rules for the game.  If you want to “play” you have to play according to our rules.  What is now happening, it seems to me, is that more and more people are saying we don’t want to play the “game” in that way anymore.  We want to show up at the playground and whoever is there we will organize the “game” and negotiate the rules and work together to figure out the best way forward.

Which makes me wonder…
If we (and our children) have lost something in overly organizing their sports activities, is there something to be gained by individuals and groups of people reclaiming their own initiative in redefining church or community or spirituality?  It will certainly look and feel different than what it does today, but it may end up being more thoughtful and more vital than what we have known for some time.

What do you think?

A Place to Practice

Here is what I think church should be or could be about:
A place to practice.
A place to practice kindness.
And compassion.
And generosity.
And gratitude.
A place to practice saying Please and Thank you not just for what we need or have, but please and thank you on behalf of another some of whom we know and many of whom we don’t.
Church could be and maybe should be a place where we practice being (or coming closer to being) our best selves.

But, more often than not we get it wrong.
And church becomes a place of shoulds and oughts;
Right and wrong;
My right and your wrong.
A place where if we know the rules and the rituals we belong and if we don’t we feel like we don’t have a place.
A place of believing in Jesus instead of being inspired by the words and witness of Jesus.
A place where God is understood more as a noun than as a verb.
A place of being right and getting it right more than a place to practice.

What if we could be more the first than the second?
What if we began to believe that any place we practice being our best selves was church?  And, anyone with whom we practice kindness and compassion and generosity and gratitude was our community of faith? Would we began to pay attention in a different way because that which we know and name as God could be present in each and every one of those moments?
What would change for us?
Would we look at our lives and each other differently?
I wonder…

Headscarfs, Yamakas and Crosses

Last night I attended a local civic event which recognized one community member and one non-profit organization for their commitment to the communities in which we live.  It is always nice to see people recognized for their vision and commitment and the work they do to make the communities in which we live better for everyone.  But, what caught my attention and got me thinking was not the laudatory remarks about the honorees or the proclamations made by local politicians, but the guitar player in the band that had been hired for the evening.

Remember this was a purely secular event.  And, the music was selected so that middle aged people could dance to it.  What stood our for me and made me look twice was that the guitar player wore a yamaka, a rounded skull cap worn by observant Jewish men mostly, but not exclusively, at religious services.  And, more than that no one seemed to notice.  I am sure wearing the yamaka was meaningful to the guitar player, but it was a complete non-event/non-issue to everyone else in the room.  And, I am sure the same was true for any and all of the women whose jewelry included a cross on a necklace.

But, here is what I wonder…
What if one of the people in the band had been a Muslim woman who had made the choice to wear a headscarf?  How many people would have noticed that and made comments about it over their cocktails before we were called to dinner?  Is there anything different about her choice to wear a headscarf or his choice to wear a yamaka or her choice to wear a cross?  I don’t think so.  My guess (hope?!) is that for each of those individuals, more than just being a symbol of religious identity, their yamaka or headscarf or cross serves as a reminder to the wearer that they are called to serve God in how they live.  Maybe we all would do well with such a reminder.

The Providers

Yesterday afternoon I had an appointment with one of the doctors I see annually. Practicing good “bedside manner” and, I am sure, looking for other indicators that might affect my health, he asked how the church where I work was doing.  In a few sentences I tried to say all was well, but also describe the pressure organized religion of any variety or stripe is under saying that much of my professional training and experience did not match the emerging trends.  A bit surprised by my response, he said, “It sounds like the medical profession facing incredible change with no clear direction.”  Then, when I turned the question back towards him he said, “When I decided to be a doctor I thought I would be a professional. Now I find I am a provider.”

I walked away from my appointment thinking about his comment.
Is that what is happening in and to so many professions – clergy, doctors, teachers, etc? That instead of being seen and treated as professionals who have a particular training and skill set and expertise, we are now seen as providers and those who buy or receive our services view themselves as the professionals who purchase what we have to give?  I don’t want to diminish the issues and concerns or the changes that need to take place in any of our professions, but I do think my doctor’s observations are on the mark and the change in perception/understanding he put into words is a part of the challenge we face.